i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
