Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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