Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
