I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
