Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I need moral support for this bender
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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