I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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