he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Panties = found
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