Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
