if you like me you must not know who I am
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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