plz talk dirty to me
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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