Too much gin, very little bucket
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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