I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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