I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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