is your mom at the bar?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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