dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
