The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
