Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
