I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
