I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
