Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
