The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
