Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
