My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
