Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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