We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
