I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
