if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I have already put on my inside pants.
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