so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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