did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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