There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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