so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
it glows. i had to have it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
ok first of all what the fuck
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
