is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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