the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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