I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
