i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
