Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
