Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
