shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Randomize