oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
