nut hugger
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
