I murdered the dance floor call the cops
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
