I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
