It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
