I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
