I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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