"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
