But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
