she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
