At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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