could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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